As we all know, my apron strings are not only still firmly in place, they're fucking double knotted, sewn together, and wrapped around me like I'm some kind of fishing pole.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't all my mom's fault, and honestly, I'm grateful to her for helping me and carrying me as long as she has.

But it's time to be out on my own. It's time to either sink or swim---on my own.

So, Adam and I are moving to St. Louis, hopefully at the end of January.

I'm very frightened, not because I think we're going to faile, but because I'm going to be six hours away from my mom and brother. Mikey is the most important person in the world to me, followed by Manda, Adam, & Mom. You do the math. Two of the four most important people in my world are going to be six hours away >.< Yeah, that's right. I'm nervous as hell about how freaky I'm going to get without my brother.

On the bright side --- I will be closer to Manda!

And just to assure everyone now: No, Manda is NOT the reason I'm moving. She plays a part in it, but I'v ethought about moving to St. Louis since I was 13, and have badgered my mom about it for years. She wouldn't budge. Well, I've been a legal adult for over a year now. It's time to start living my own life.

I will admit, Manda's visit did help inspire some of this, because when I was with her, I realized I had to start doing the things that I want to do, regardless of the consequences.

Chopping off all my hair and having to accept that no matter what it looked like, I was stuck with it, was very terrifying, and it really nudged me forward.

Money's going to be tight, and it's going to be scary learning to balance everything and keeping it all together, but I honestly believe I'm capable of doing it.

I mean, for crying out loud, I'm an intelligent adult, if I can't handle it, then I need shot in the damned head.

So, yes, hopefully, in the next 5 months, yours truly will be in St. Louis.

Wish me luck, boys and girls.

-Manda

posted by Manda @ 2:59 PM+

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