To hear the song I'm listening to now. "Hard Love" by Bob Franke. I finally managed to find it, hurrah.

Of course, I first learned about it through the book of the same title by Ellen Wittlinger, which, if you know me, you know is one of my all-time favorite books. Too. Awesome. For. Words.

*sigh* So, yeah, I decided to whip it out and re-read it. I managed to plow through it in a matter of a few hours....and of course, I'm at the end, and crying, and listening to the song, and trying to breath, because it reminds me so much of a situation I'm in now. And DAMNIT TO HELL does it make me feel...like I'm growing up, and yet so broken and damn lost. I hate that feeling.

I haven't posted a lot of personal stuff in my blog lately, I've kind of been keeping it at arms length for fear of some things, but I'm getting over that again...this is my damn blog. I choose to bare my soul to the world, and godamnit, if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it properly.

(-_-) Hurrah, me.

Seriously, though, peoples....if you can't find the song, at least check out the lyrics, and I highly, highly reccomend the book. Like I said, it's one of my all-time favorites. Like, in the Top 5. And when you read as much as I do, that's serious shit.

Oddly enough....the two sections that apply to my situation, are the two quoted in the book...

"It was hard love, every step of the way,
Hard to be so close to you, so hard to turn away,
And when all the stars and sentimental songs dissolved today,
There was nothing left to sing about but hard love.

So I loved you for your courage and your gentle sense of shame,
And I loved you for your laughter and your language and your name,
And I knew it was impossible, but I loved you just the same,
Though the only love I gave you was hard love."

"So, I"ll tell you that I love you even though I'm far away,
And I'll tell you how you change me as I live from day to day,
How you help me to accept myself, and I won't forget to say,
Love is never wasted, even when it's hard love.

Yes, it's hard love, but it's love all the same,
Not the stuff of fantasy but more than just a game.
And the only kind of miracle that's worthy of the name,
For the love that heals our lives is mostly hard love."

So...very, very true.
-Manda

posted by Manda @ 9:16 AM+

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