So...the past few days have been, how shall I say this? A fucking nightmare.

I found out today that Mom was pregnant. She hadn't told any of us because she wasn't sure and she was nervous.

The reason we (we being Adam, myself, Dan, Gram, and two people I trust very closely, and two of Mom's good friends) now know is because Mom miscarried the baby this morning .

While I haven't been looking to have another brother or sister, it's still devestating and I still would have loved the child as much as my other siblings: With all my heart and soul.

Mom already had a name picked out if the baby had been a girl...she was going to name her Emma, after my Great Grandmother.

Sure, she wasn't looking to get pregnant, and another baby was not something she needed, but that doesn't matter. It still hurts like hell.

And of course, there are other things happening, but none that are even close to as catastrophic as this. And it's sad because here, I thought, life was reaching it's peak of "give Manda a fucking massive break down" activities, but, of course, I had to be wrong.

It always gets worse. *sigh*

Maybe Mom and Dan will actually try to have a baby after this, I dunno. I just love them and wish I could make this all go away...

*sigh*
~Manda

posted by Manda @ 3:38 AM+

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