You know....for once....I was starting to fucking feel human again. Like I'm not cut off from the rest of the world like some god damn freak.

Yaye, we got Satellite (that mind you, we have to split the bill with mom on, even though, you know, it's not like we're going to have that box out in our house ANY fucking time soon, so we *HAVE* to be in here to watch anyways, so WHY are we paying for it?)

So....I have a way to keep in touch with the world besides the radio. Which is really nice.

I got my computer. I literally had to build my stupid fucking case because it's clear accrylic so I had to put EVERY SCREW IN EVERY PANEL...and I had to put in every piece from the mother board to the processor....everything. I built this baby.

Yeah, Adam helped direct with a few minor details that I wasn't aware of. But I did it all myself.

And I'm proud. And I love my new comp and I'm dying to get all my stuff on it from my other comp so that I can get back to my friends.

Well...you know, you would FUCKING THINK that it wouldn't be TOO MUCH to fucking ask....that people request my permission before touching it. And I don't mean admiring it and touching it. I mean people ATTEMPTING TO INSTALLING SOFTWARE ON IT AND CRASHING IT WITHOUT EVER EVEN ASKING ME IF THEY WERE ALLOWED.

And yeah, when I found out, I fucking peaked out, stormed over to my computer, turned it on and began trying to figure out why it had crashed when they attempted to install it. I'm installing AIM reight now to see if it's something to deal with the hard drive not being able to decrypt data or something else.

And yeah, I threatened to kick Justin's ass...and I was beyond pissed. And apparently I'M being unreasonable by saying they should ask my permission to use my computer.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW THAT IS UNREASONABLE?

I have NEVER in my life gotten a new computer. I've "owned" two. One was a hand-me-down my grama had had for 6 years and it was DYING and she knew this, that's why she got her new one.

The second one? Was mom's that she got from Chris that was really old, and she passed on to me when she took Dan's old one when he got a new one.

Now, Dan got a new computer before me, but hey...*shrugs* That's fine. I mean...he already had a working computer...but that doesn't matter, right? Only reason I got the POS I had was because of Dan getting his, which, yaye, but it's not like it was truly mine. Everybody could do what they fucking pleased with it.

This. Is. MINE. I BUILT THIS SON OF A BITCH. PIECE BY PIECE. It is my graduation present from my fucking parents. The only one I will ever get because you know, my fucking father is too much of a godamn asshole to even aknowledge that my diploma says "Arkansas High School Diploma". It doesn't say GED. It doesn't say "You're a retard". It looks just like every other single Diploma.

I graduated. But you know...that doesn't matter to everyone else...but it matters to me, and apparently my Mom & Dan.

NEvermind that I've had to wait a YEAR to get this. Nevermind that I spent hours fucking hurting my back to put in every piece. Nevermind that it's on MY desk in MY little corner of my mom's house. You know...

Why the FUCK should anyone have the right to touch it without asking me? Adam, yeah, c'mon, he's my fucking husband. He has that inalienable right to fuck with my shit.

My cousin? Our friends? My brother?

And you know...I was even being nice. That's how I found out. Charlie & Mikey were whining about wanting to play some game or another, and were whining they wouldn't be able to play much because everyone else had the computers, and I was offering to install the game on my computer for them. (Different game than the one Justin wanted to install).

But hey...a little bit of space so the kids could play. No big deal.

I told them so.

And then they inform me that without my consent, people have been fucking with my shit.

Yippee. You know...I'm so fucking sick of being walked on and being the bad guy for trying to protect what little I have.

posted by Manda @ 6:44 PM+

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