*sigh* Who's Him? My damn-sperm-doner, aka my father. No, he wasn't really a sperm-doner. But that might as well be all he is for all the good he does.

For God f***ing sakes.

My Mom bought me a car...sure, it's not a 2005 Chevy or something really nice, but it does it's job, and that's what matters.

She put the down payment on my trailer, and has been making the payments for 5 months now.

And she's buying me a computer as my late graduation present.

And she didn't even get a chance to talk to him about *HIM* helping.

All she did was call and ask, very nicely, if he had any plans to help me in any way with college. And he went off on her. She barely got a single word here in there in edge wise.

All he could do was attack her and attack me, using her as the basis. He takes out all his anger at her on me, and basically makes me out to be *her*.

And yeah, he's irate that I'm with Adam, which mostly has to do with the fact that he was 24 and my mom was 15 when they got together, so he was almost 10 years older, and he's all pissy about it...and yeah, basically he's pissed that I'm with someone who's older, and he wants me to "break the cycle".

My father stopped speaking to me when I told him about Adam. I called him a week or so ago to have a chat, because I missed him and my brother and sister and step mom.

He accused me of "never telling him anything"....considering he doesn't talk to me unless I initiate the conversation, and he's dissapeared from MSN...wtf am I suppose to do!?

And I told him about Adam, and look what happened!

I'm ready to pull my damn hair out....my head hurts and I'm ready to cry my fucking eyes out, which I've kind of already been doing.

Why does he have to be like this? He told mom "I have bills to pay"...well, if he'd given mom a chance to talk, he'd know that I wasn't going to ask for anything drastic. Christ.

And his bills obviously aren't THAT bad if he could get a brand new pool. Yes. Brand new pool. And apparently, "It's huge", or at least, that's what my little sister, who'll be 8 in August, told me. And for some strange reason, I believe her. I'm pretty sure it's one of those above-ground ones that costs several-thousand dollars, 'cause Brenna said it was totally different from the old one they had, which was one of those blow-up ones.

I don't know, all I know is I'm ready to just...god..*sigh*

I mean, I don't care about the damn pool. It's not that much to ask for him to help me a little bit with school. And you know, it's not like I was asking him to drop thousands of dollars for my tuition. Hell, he didn't even let mom get out what she was going to say!

She was simply going to ask that he put it in writing that he'd send me $350 a month (almost 100 less than what he's paying now in child support, but of course, that's government regulated), and of course do so. That way I could pay for Gas to/from school, car insurance, etc.

I mean hell, in Pennsylvania, it's mandatory that parents pay Child Support until their kids are out of college. Mom was only going to ask him to do this until I finished my Bachelors (4 years), even though I'll probably be trying to go to school for 6 years.

But...hey, God forbid Mom even get anything she was going to say out! Heeelll no...god forbid! He wouldn't shut up! All he could do was hollar at her and attack her and me!!

*SIGH* And considering he owes her *thinks* almost 7 years worth of back child-support from when I was younger, you'd think he'd be a little nicer.

*pulls hair out and sobs*

God I really don't like him right now. I can not believe he would be like this. I mean, I can understand, yeah, he has bills to pay, but they're obviously not struggling if they can get a brand new pool. And those kids never go without a summer vacation, so I'm betting they've got money stashed for that. Not that that matters. My point is, he'd be paying less than he is now, and he could be helping me with school. Hell, even if if it was 50 bucks a month it'd be appreciated.

I could understand if he said you know..."Hey, well, we were planning on having more once Amanda turns 18, so we won't have that much to spare, but I'll try and help how I can"...or just you know...grr.

Why did he have to just suddenly attack mom and me when she asked, very nicely, if he had any intentions to help me out with school.

I mean, Mom was seriously being nice, and he went off like a rocket.

*sigh* I'm just ready to scream right now, and I'm just so pissed and just *sigh*

I think I'm going to go back to bed. I'll talk to you all later.

~Manda

posted by Manda @ 12:12 PM+

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