+Wednesday, November 10, 2004+
Coming Undone

*Sigh* This is so not fucking kosher. I'm coming apart. I've been so deppressed that absolutely nothing has made me happy in almost 5 days. I mean nothing. Nothing cheers me up. Not studying religion, politics, anything. Nothing has made me happy. Not even planning Adam & I's future together.

Nothing helps anymore. I hate it all. I hate God. I hate life.

The only good thing is Adam. *SIGH*

I've never been one to turn my back on God, but I have. I've totally walked away. I can't do this shit. I can not pretend to have faith, when really, I don't anymore. I did for awhile, but it's to the point where I can't even fathom this all loving God. I know she/he's there, but it's like it/they has/have abandoned us. I feel so fucked up and insecure and I'm just coming apart at the seems.

*sigh*
~Mandy


posted by Manda @ 9:28 PM+


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